On the treatment of foot-in-mouth disease…

I know, i know… I have a well-deserved reputation for putting my foot in it – so much so that my husband says I take one foot out only to put the other foot in! My only defence is that he’s got a lot more fun out of life thanks to me than he would have otherwise!

Yesterday, I was reading one of those lists on facebook (the very best way to waste time!) which add nothing to your knowledge but oh, so much fun to your afternoon! A list of “oops” moments and sympathising exclusively with the “oops-ers” (the doers of oops moments) as opposed to the “oops-ees” on whom the oops moments are perpetrated!

Some of my own bloopers came crowding back… like this one time, when we were waiting at the kids’ school to pick up my daughter after an excursion. We are chatting with a bunch of other parents. Guy rides up on a scooter and parks under a tree. Familiar face (see where this is going?). I smile at him vaguely, not quite sure of his name but recognising him as a dad. Puzzled smile back. Ah… now I get who this guy is! I have met him on work!

I announce grandly to my husband and the rest of my audience, “You know who that guy is? He’s Mr AK. Owns one of the largest software companies in India.”

Hubby laughs – “And he’s riding a scooter??!”

Me: “You don’t know – he’s a very simple man. Comes from a very ordinary middle-class background and look at the company he’s built! How amazing he’s still stays so humble!”

Hubby knows it is useless to argue and lets me meet my Armageddon!

I saunter across and say hello. The gentleman gets off his scooter and says hello back but with a slightly puzzled look on his face – the have we met before look.

So then I ask, “Mr AK, isn’t it? We met at your office last month? I am… ” and then start blabbering as his bewilderment increases and I figure I’ve put my foot in it – yet again!

But never mind, I apologise and we chat for a bit before I trail back to the other tree under which the rest of the gang is waiting – with barely suppressed merriment! But I do have a repartee – “So what if he is not Mr AK? I have  a NEW friend!”

On another occasion, I am interviewing someone at my office and he keeps giving me puzzled smiles. I am equally puzzled – just who is this? Then he introduces himself… “I am X, your daughter’s tennis coach.”

Ah, now I get it! Also why he looks familiar but am not able to place him… the thought is no sooner thunk than it is said! “Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr X, I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on!!

Having only seen him in his coach attire of tennis shorts and T-shirt, the gentleman in a suit bore no resemblence (in my eyes at least!) to the athletic guy I was used to seeing!

FIM syndrome (foot-in-mouth) is now a well-documented chronic illness with no known cure… sadly…

I, of course, prefer food-in-mouth, like this…


  • Fresh kidney beans or red soya beans( these are now available in most veggie shops through the year) – 2 cups
  • Carrots – 4 -chunked
  • French or cluster beans – snapped into 1″ pieces – 1 cup
  • Potatoes – scrubbed and cubed – 2 medium
  • Ash gourd (white pumpkin) – chunked – 1 cup (optional)
  • Tomatoes – 3 medium – chunked
  • Capsicum / bell pepper – 1 – chunked
  • Green chilies – 2 – minced
  • Garlic – minced – 1 tsp
  • Onions – chopped – 1 medium
  • Mixed herbs – 1 tbsp
  • Butter or ghee – 1 tsp
  • Salt and pepper
  • Milk to serve – about a cup (optional)

Heat the butter or ghee in a pressure cooker (easiest way to do it). Add the onions, cover and sweat for ten minutes. Sweat the onions, I mean, though if you live in Madras, both you and the onions will sweat!

Add garlic and green chilies and saute. Add everything else except capsicum, 3 cups water, salt and pepper.

Pressure cook for two whistles and reduce heat and cook for 5-7 minutes more. Turn off, let cool till pressure is reduced. Add capsicum and cook for two minutes more.

Add 1 or 2 tbsp of milk to every cup you serve out. Great hot or cold. Plus this is an all-in-one meal – with all the food groups. If you want to reduce the carb content, just omit the potatoes or substitute with yellow pumpkin or sweet potatoes.

Put food in your mouth, not the other thing!