Anu Chenji

 

“Appa, you’re a baggurl (bad girl), baggurl appa, baggurl appa,” and the normally placid five year old hurls herself at the dad, hitting him with her small arms, sobbing as she does so!

We are shocked – Appa (her dad), is her favourite and she has just greeted him with many hugs and kisses as he came back from a trip out of town. Arch (that’s the little girl in question) has just learnt to read and is devouring books like they’re going out of fashion (she still is , by the way!). Her Appa has bought her a fairy tale book at the airport and as soon as the effusive greeting is done, she runs off to her room with the book.

Two hours later and we see a little tornado coming out of the room and hurling herself at her dad! We are shocked but manage to calm her down in a while. The book that her dad has picked up for her is Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Brave Tin Soldier”. Having always been a fan of  schoolboy adventure stories and later, of Westerns, my poor husband had no idea of how gory fairy tales could actually be and picked up a book that had pretty pictures for the daughter!

But as with a lot of Anderson’s stories of horror (just think of Hansel and Gretel being abandoned by the dad in the forest!), this one has a horrible ending – the tin soldier falls into the fire and melts into a lump of tin at the end. This was Arch’s first introduction to death/destruction in her little life and she was devastated – and angry with the dad for buying her a horrible book!

Much coaxing and cajoling and re-inventing of the story (the writer was telling lies, baby!) happened before she was pacified! Till she learned to read, all of us used to read out aloud to her and always changed sad endings to happy endings. Learning how to read and actually getting all of this firsthand, as it were, without the buffer of a parent “re-inventing” the story, the tender-hearted creature had to go through her first rites of passage…

There was another little story that we used to read out to her – about a girl called Pippa and a little fish – the baby of another big one which is caught. Obviously, we couldn’t leave it at that so the story was always modified to the baby fish pleading with the fisherman to let his “amma” go and has a happy ending with the fish swimming away with the mummy fish and wagging its tail to say bye to our heroine on the shore!

Also, I took good care to hide the book away as soon as she learnt to read – she would have been broken hearted if she’d ever read the real story on her own!

And thus I rest my case for banning most of Anderson’s work and a whole load of other “fairy” (really???!) tales in the interests of our gentle readers!

Instead, I recommend a dose good, “healthy”, happy ending stories like our dish for today… guaranteed to make you happy in ten minutes flat (that’s how much time it takes to cook it!!

 FENNEL FLAVOURED CORN AND PEAS RICE/rice with peas and corn flavoured with saunf

• Leftover cooked rice – 2 cups
• Boiled peas – 1/2 cup
• Boiled sweet corn – 1/2 cup
• Capsicum/bell pepper – chopped – 1/2 cup
• Sliced onions – 1/2 cup
• Garlic – minced – 2 cloves – optional
• Green chilies  – minced – 1 or 2
• Fennel seeds – 1 tsp – crushed slightly
• Peppercorns – crushed – 1/2 tsp
• Jeera powder – 1/2 tsp
• Garam masala powder – 1/2 tsp
• Salt
• Oil – 1 tbsp
• Mint and sliced tomatoes – to garnish

Heat oil in a large saucepan. Add the saunf/fennel seeds and saute for a few seconds.

Add onions, garlic and green chilies and fry till onions are pink.

Add the peas, corn, salt, jeera powder, pepper and garam masala. Mix well.

Cover and cook on a low flame for 3-4  minutes. Add rice, stir through and take off the heat. Let it rest for a few minutes before serving.

Mix again, garnish with mint and sliced tomatoes and serve.

No one is going to beat you up! And even your five-year old may take to cooking!

“Hang on… I think I’m getting the hang of this… ” Famous last words of every born-to-be gambler! And I promptly proceed to lose every cent of what I’ve won so far…

We are at a casino in Reno, having been taken there for a visit by the California cujjins. Long drive through Yosemite and Sequoia and we are tired – all five of us. But as we trail though the lobby to our rooms, my eyes brighten…we are in a casino, after all! And casinos might have hotels attached to stay in, but their primary purpose is gambling, right!

Flash back to forty five years ago. A slightly bored seven-year old (no new books to read meant instant boredom!) is hanging about disconsolately. We’re at an aunt’s place for lunch and I normally love going there because I have so much fun hanging out with my cousins (the same California bunch!) but no one is around (meaning to say, there are no other kids around – everyone’s busy doing something else someplace). The adults have set up their usual card table and are busy with rummy, their favourite game.

I am bored!

A little while later, one of the uncles wanders out, having “scooted” out of a bad hand.  This selfsame uncle has, on several occasions, saved my life – by eating all the mirchis out of my bajjis – all in all, a “good egg”! I am happy to have someone to chatter away with. One of the cousins re-appears. Life begins to look seriously up! I have been pontificating (I didn’t know the word then, so that’s my excuse for holding forth!) on how boring adults were in general because they preferred playing endless games of rummy to playing hide-and-seek or the word-ending games we were so fond of!

The uncle doesn’t protest… in fact, he seems to agree with me! And promptly offers to teach me to play rummy! Over the next hour, he and the prodigal cousin (responsible for much of my out-of-school education!) proceed to baptise the innocent seven-year old – into a born-again gambler! The bug has bitten and I figure just how much fun it is to wait in thrilled anticipation for a new game – what are my cards going to be this time?

Many decades have passed and the gambler’s instinct still stays strong. Thankfully, it doesn’t have much of a chance to surface… except on occasion, like this visit to Reno… where the spirit of generations of gamblers hangs about, whispering in your ear, “Your luck is about to turn!”

I have my couple of hours, choosing the poker tables, after carefully examining and rejecting the slot machines. Win some, lose some and go to bed a happy soul – I can last a few more months!

Life’s a gamble, after all, much like cooking is for a lot of people – and don’t invite me to dinner till you’ve honed your skills at the slot machines!

Much of the time, I know what I’m making but I like the occasional new dish – because it satisfies some deep-rooted instinct to gamble… I think…

Here’s one which paid off – inspired by a post by Val Weaver  in the Artisan Bread Maker’s group…

PESTO BREAD

FOR BREAD DOUGH

• 1.5 cups plain flour/maida
• 1.5 cups whole wheat flour/atta
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 sachet yeast
• Milk powder – 2 tbsp
• Oil – i used sunflower oil – 2 tbsp
• Warm water to knead.

Prove the yeast and mix the ingredients together well. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead into a smooth, very elastic dough – about ten minutes. Cover with a wet napkin and leave to double in size (about 45 minutes).

Knock back and roll out on a floured surface to a large rectangle about 3 mm in thickness.

FOR SPICY MINT AND BASIL PESTO:

1 cup basil, 1 cup fresh mint, 5-6 cloves of garlic,1 green chili (Serrano pepper), 1/2 cup walnuts, 1/4 cup olive oil, salt, 1 tsp sugar and 1/2 cup Parmesan (I had run out of Parmesan so I used Cheddar) – blitz together in the mixer to a reasonably smooth paste.

OTHER INGREDIENTS

• Butter – 2 tbsp
• Cheddar or Parmesan – grated – 1/2 cup

Spread the butter over the rolled out dough with your fingers. Spread the pesto on top leaving a border of 1/2 ” all around. Sprinkle the grated cheese all over.

Roll into a cylinder  lengthwise.

Cut longitudinally into half.

Braid the two halves together keeping the pesto-ey side up (important for appearance!)

You will now have a braid with many strands of green showing up.

Form into a ring and pinch edges together, tucking them underneath neatly.

Carefully, asking other peeps for help, lift into a large, greased, baking tray.

Cover with a cloth and let rise again – 15 – 20 minutes.

Bake in a preheated oven at 190 C for 40- 45 minutes.

Serve with a shorba (thin tomato soup).

Let the dice fall where they may!

“What is this – balla, balla? What is your name really?” asks the elderly nun of a cheeky fourteen year old grinning up at her.

She, the nun that is, has just come to our school from the parent convent in Vijayawada and is flummoxed by my friend’s surname – a Punjabi “Bhalla”. She doesn’t quite believe that someone can have a name quite like that (‘balla’ in Telugu means a bench!). She checks the register and finds it’s for real and as though to make up for her faux pas earlier or maybe it was the cheeky grin that did it, the ‘Bhalla’ becomes her favourite – can do no wrong whatsoever blue-eyed girl! Our Bhalla exploits this to the full – thinking up and carrying out all sorts of mischief, secure in the knowledge that all she has to do is smile endearingly at the “sister” in question and all would be forgiven!

This was around the time we had graduated to class 9 – one of the seniormost in the school and also graduated to the rowdy ‘last bench’!

This particular sister in question, was very fond of storing a little cache of unshelled peanuts in her capacious pockets and popping them in, slowly shelling them, during the Social Studies class that she took – right after lunch! Now, we’d have just had lunch, so the peanuts did not torment us with any induced hunger pangs… but the idea of a teacher wandering around, shelling peanuts and eating them with impunity seemed grossly unfair! We had to do something!

The Bhalla girl (as the good sister liked to call her) was my benchmate on the last bench. She had the aisle seat and I was in the innocent place just inside. The sister (must have been longing for a siesta rather than taking a class of pesky teens through the geography of India!) used to lean on the wall next to her favourite and crack her peanuts open, swaying gently from side to side rather like a ship in full sail with gentle breezes rocking her side to side at sea! She moved, Bhalla – girl sees her opportunity. Quick as a flash, out comes a tube of Feviquick and she smears it liberally on the wall – behind the sister. The sister, having cracked a few nuts open, leans back to enjoy them with a sigh of contentment, beaming benevolently down at her blue-eyed girl. Chats with her occasionally, looks over her shoulder and helps her with her class assignment  and is generally a happy soul on a somnolent afternoon….

…the assignment is done, papers are gathered and the sister moves off… rrriiiipppp… goes her veil… the glue has dried well and truly during the sister’s extended sojourn on the wall and now a part of the cloth covering her head has torn off!

She splutters in indignation and turns a baleful eye towards our bench – the culprit must obviously be here! The Bhalla? No way, she is too innocent (if only she knew!!)… must be that pesky Chenji who sits next to her and asks all kinds of questions! The thunderclap falls on me, despite my protests of innocence!

But there is a funny side to it – the sister with a torn veil, spluttering away in indignation is a sight guaranteed to bring joy to any heart – unfortunately I hadn’t learnt to master the art of inconvenient giggles and am uncermoniously led away to the “Office” for punishment! Ah well, I did giggle!

And with that in mind, let’s make something that resembles the good sister’s veil… the

MASALA DOSA WITH MYSORE TYPE CHUTNEY

For dosa, follow this link.

FOR GREEN/WHITE CHUTNEY

• 1 cup fresh, grated coconut
• 1 tbsp – fried gram dal/putani/putnala pappu/odacha kadalai
• Ginger – 1/2 tsp -chopped
• Green chilies – 2
• Asafoetida – 1 pinch
• Salt
• Jeera/cumin seeds – 1 pinch
• Sugar – 1/4 tsp
• Juice of half a lime
• Peeled sambar onions – 5-6 (optional)
• Coriander – 1/2 cup for green chutney. Omit for white chutney.

Grind everything together with a little water to make a thick chutney.

 FOR RED CHUTNEY (MYSORE TYPE)

• Fried gram dal/putani/putnala pappu/pottu kadalai – 1 cup
• 1 large onion – chopped any which way
• Garlic – 5-6 flakes
• Red chilies – soaked in hot water for ten minutes – 4-5
• Juice of half a lime
• Salt

Grind everything together adding a little water to a thick, spreading consistency.

FOR  POTATO MASALA

• Boiled, peeled, crumbled potaotes – 2 cups
• Onion – chopped – 1 – optional
• Green chilies – sliced – 2-3
• Turmeric – 1/4 tsp
• Asafoetida – 1 generous pinch

 SAMBAR

See entry here.

Make the dosa. Spread 1 tsp of the red chutney on top. Shovel some potato masala – about 2-3 tbsp. Fold over in half and serve with the other chutney and sambar.

No need to fill up on peanuts afterwards!

Having spent many, many years in recruitment, interviewing several thousand candidates, maintaining notes painstakingly, I had to figure out some way of remembering candidates.

And so,  inspired by an article I’d read which informed me  that it was a very good idea to imagine the most ridiculous combinations of things together  so I’d remember what that thing was that I was supposed to remember in the first place, I came up with this brilliant idea – I would make notes which  had little drawings of candidates and  little notes on them – like if someone had a particularly arresting feature , I’d note it down and attempt to draw it!  And so I have pages filled with drawings of bristly moustaches, long, curly locks and whatever else struck my fancy at that point! I have the artistic ability of a 6-month old with a crayon in her fingers and a canvas which can go anywhere, basically – so these are not really of any use should there be a police parade!

But being my mother’s daughter, nothing deters me! And so I started these pictorial representations of interviewees – providing great amusement of the two girls who used to assist us in the office. They would wait for the interview to be over and pounce on the book wherein I made my notes and as they updated the database with the relevant info (boring stuff like qualifications, background, experience etc.!), much chuckling and giggling would accompany the process! Willy nilly I had struck upon a way to keep my people engaged!

You think Philip Kotler might be interested in my idea on motivation??! Hmm… maybe I should patent it – was just thinking along these lines one day in office when fate showed me just where the flaw was with my brilliant idea!

So… I was interviewing this young man with a speech impairment, waiting patiently while he struggled to make himself understood. I draw a picture of him, melting brown eyes and all, noting down “melting brown eyes” as I do so. After a while, he relaxes and the interview proceeds very smoothly. Then I ask him for references – names and telephone numbers are needed. He clearly has more of a problem getting numbers out than words. I am running late for a meeting so I ask him, “why don’t you write it down for me here?” and hand over my book. A few seconds later, I realise what I have done – there is this young man, staring at my artistic rendering of him titled, “melting brown eyes”! And this time, even my aplomb (honed by two years of B-school education where, I assure you, the only valuable skill you pick up is getting out of sticky situations with panache!) deserts me and I grab my book back with as much assurance as I can muster, muttering excuses about how I was writing a story earlier etc. etc.

The melting brown eyes twinkle merrily at me!

The other thing you don’t learn at b-school but life teaches you later is that you can’t really get out of every sticky situation and the best thing you can do is to grin back sheepishly!

One lives and one learns – like today’s dish – which went through a few frustrated avatars and five and six letter words (this is a family blog – I do not use four letter words!) before I got it right!

Was very excited about dreaming up this truly one-pot meal  – a mixture of Eastern and Middle Eastern cuisines anyway!

VEGAN MATZOH BALLS IN A COCONUT BROTH

FOR THE MATZOH (also called “gondi” in Persian cuisine)

• Boiled chickpeas – 1.5 cups
• Boiled rice – leftovers will do very nicely, thank you! – 1 cup
• Breadcrumbs – 1/2 cup’s
• wow, that’s three “B” things in a row!! 😉
• Basil leaves – fresh – a handful
• Green chili – 1 or 2
• Peppercorns – 1/2 tsp
• Ginger – 1/2 ” piece
• Garlic – 2 flakes
• Juice of 1/2 lemon
• Salt
• Onion – 2 tbsp – sliced

Whizz everything, except the breadcrumbs in the mixer to a reasonably smooth paste. Fold in the breadcrumbs and shape into balls. Place on a tray and leave in the frig without a lid for about an hour – they will firm up a bit.

Brush a little oil on top and bake in the oven at 220C for 20 minutes or pan-roast, turning over carefully  a few times till golden.

FOR COCONUT BROTH

•  Onion – sliced – 1
• Green chili – minced – 1
• Garlic – minced – 2
• Ginger minced – 1/2 tsp
• Shredded cabbage – 1 cup
• Thinly sliced carrot – 1/2 cup
• Thinly sliced capsicum / bell peppers – 1/2 cup
• Coconut milk – 1 cup
• Water – 3-4 cups
• Salt and pepper
• Tomato  puree – 1 tbsp – optional
• Sugar – 1 tsp
• Spring onions and mint to garnish
• Juice of 1 lemon
• 1 tsp oil

Heat oil in a large saucepan. Toss in onions and saute till the colour begins to change. Add garlic, green chili, ginger and continue to saute for a few seconds more. Sprinkle a little water if the onion begins to stick to the pan.

Add the vegetables and saute on high heat for three minutes. Add the water and bring to a boil. Lower heat and add coconut milk Simmer for 5-6 minutes. Add salt and sugar and pepper.

Switch off, add lime juice.

Pour into bowls, add three or four matzoh balls to each bowl. garnish with mint and serve hot.

You don’t need anything else to go with it – it has protein and carbs ad veggies!

Yum! Even if you have to read it in my book!

I am “volunteered” by the school to take a bunch of kids to the cinema.

“How bad can it be, anyway?” I reason to myself. Taking a bunch of six and seven-year olds to a show – after all, it’s only a matter of a couple of hours or so! Poor misguided soul that I was!

First of all, the movie the school picks is “Batman and Robin”. Till then, I have always liked superhero movies – but then the only ones I saw before this were the Superman series and Supergirl (Ok, ok – that one was bad but at least it was about a girl with superpowers – haven’t you ever dreamt that you had those!)

Superhero movie, I thought, “Can’t be too bad, can it?”

And off I set to school, where we all piled into the big school buses and traipsed off excitedly to the theatres. The kids were divided into groups of about fifteen each with a couple of parents in charge of each group. The other parent I knew vaguely – but as a very pleasant chap. Then they sit the kids down in the bus and divide them by rows. We get the front half – which has fourteen girls and one boy. I don’t think too much about it – at that age, the gender thing doesn’t make much difference… I think! Well, I couldn’t have been wrong-er! There is one area where the gender thing makes a lot of difference – and that is in public restroom areas – clearly gender-segregated!

So there is this other parent – a man – with one solitary boy in his care and there I am with fourteen little girls to look after! How tough can it be, you think? Take them in fours or fives and the job is done – hah! Try synchronising fourteen bladders, all of whom are thirsty  after a hot day at school and gulp down lots of water and juices, all of whom take varying sizes in bladders, some of whom haven’t learnt how to undo their buttons and get on the throne! It is always these latter, I find, who need to go four times in the space of two hours! Averaging three trips to the john each, that makes forty two trips I made in all!

The one good thing I can say about the evening is that the restrooms were probably a better place to be in than watching a very bad George Clooney and an even worse Arnold Schwarzenegger cavort on screen in their underclothes! I had had enough of underclothes by then, anyway!

No wonder it is the practice of schools to “volunteer” a parent, rather than ask for volunteers!

This is one koora (curry) though, for which you will never lack volunteers, particularly if you have a whiff of Andhra blood somewhere in your genes!

VANKAYA ULLI KHARAM (eggplants in onion gravy)

• Baby Brinjals – 1/4 kg (try getting the small, purply -pinky tender ones)
• Sambar onions/shallots – 1/2 cup – chopped  or 1 large onion – grated.
• Red chilies – 2
• Green chilies – 1 or 2 – minced
• Cloves – 2
• Cinnamon – 3/4″
• Dhaniya/coriander powder – 1 tsp
• Red chilli powder – 1/2 tsp
• Turmeric – 1/2 tsp
• Asafoetida – 1 large pinch
• Grated jaggery – 1/2 tsp
• Tamarind paste – 1/4 tsp
• Tomato – 1 ripe – chopped
• Garlic – 2-3 flakes (optional)

TO SEASON

• Mustard Seeds – 1/2 tsp
• Sesame oil – 2 tbsp
• Curry leaves – 2 sprigs
• Salt

Heat 1 tbsp of the oil in a small saucepan.

Add the cloves and cinnamon.

Saute for a few seconds.

Add the red chilies and stir-fry for 30 seconds.

Add the chopped onion (setting aside 1 tbsp) and green chilies and saute, covered till the onion is pale yellow. Add tomato and let it become mushy.

Switch off and  add red chilli and coriander powders.Let the mixture cool.

Add tamarind pulp, turmeric, asafoetida, jaggery and salt (and garlic if using) and grind to a paste. This is the ulli kharam.

Prepare eggplants/brinjals by slitting them vertically in half first, then quarters. Leave a bit at the stalk end unslit (whole, that is)

Stuff each brinjal with the masala. Don’t stint on this! If there is left over masala, you can always use it for another curry!

Place the brinjals in a microwaveable flat bowl and microwave on high for 4 minutes.

In a large flat saucepan, heat 1 tbsp of oil.

Add mustard seeds and wait till the splutter.

Add curry leaves and stir-fry for a minute.

Add the brinjals and lower the flame. Add 2-3 tbsp of water , left over masala and fry, covered,  for about 4-5 minutes, turning over frequently till tender.

The vegetables will cook and the gravy turn thick – “coating” type!

Serve hot with rice and ghee, of course!

And don’t let yourself be “volunteered” unless you want a story about it some day 🙂

(Pic courtesy internet)