Of things that growl at you from the back of the refrigerator!

goosnargh biscuits
goosnargh biscuits goosnargh biscuits
Something left over from preparing or eating a meal, which you store in the fridge despite the fact that you know full well you will never ever use it!

Ever had that happen to you? And if you say no, I will have no qualms in calling you a liar!

That half a green plantain because two and a half is correct but the half more is not! The half a cup of yogurt or sambar that you just can’t throw away (if you grew up in India or are born of Indian parents living outside India, this still holds true – you just cannot bring yourself to throw away food!) Annapoorna, the Goddess of Food, will disown you and your stomach will never be full again!  Notice that food here is spelt with a capital F – as it should be! Every religion in a land which has seen famines many times has some form of taboo about wasting/throwing away food!

 But… there’s always a but, isn’t there? But… the same principle does not apply when you let the food rot at the back of your fridge or freezer for a few weeks till it starts to move and you might shortly have to give it a name... and then you can throw it away without a care! I have given this a lot of thought – when it begins to develop a life of its own, then it can no longer be considered food – in fact , you might be its food! Then you can throw it away!
Indian kids are brought up to believe that food is the Holy Grail and wasting it brings every kind of misfortune down on one’s head – from famine to plague to failing in the exams to premature graying and so, even if you are stuffed to the gills, you will end up finishing that last puri or couple of spoons of rice or whatever, ensuring it a permanent place on your hips rather than at the back of your refrigerator!
Now, would you believe there is actually a name for this? That’s what Goosnargh means – “Something left over from preparing or eating a meal, which you store in the fridge despite the fact that you know full well you will never ever use it!”
It is also a word that you say when you know you should say something but don’t know what it should be! So here we go at a party:
“Hello, good to meet you.”
“Mumble, mumble, good to meet you too… “
Awkward grin from other party who has run out of conversation.
“Goosnargh”!
“???”
The name “Goosnargh” appears in the works of Douglas Adams in the latter context. Goosnargh (I can’t stop using the word!) is actually a village in Lancashire from which these almost forgotten biscuits come…
Adapted from the original recipe:
GOOSNARGH BISCUITS
INGREDIENTS
  • 250 gn plain flour/maida
  • 100 butter
  • 65 gm peanut butter
  • 1 small tsp of baking powder
  • 60 gm sugar
  • 1/2 tsp  caraway seeds
  • 1 pinch salt
Method
Rub in and mix to a paste without moisture.
Roll out to 1/4 inch thick
Cut with a cookie cutter. Rest for an hour.
Bake for 15 mins in a moderate oven (top shelf), do not turn them, when cold dust them with icing sugar.
My nephew Nalin created a variation on this by placing a Hershey’s kisses chocolate on top of a hot-out-of-the-oven biscuit. To cool it down, he said!

Of food traditions and eggs without onions!

egg paste sandwich

egg paste sandwich egg paste sandwich

“Hi baby. All okay?” I’m calling home from office mid-morning during the summer vacation.

The kids are alone at home for a while till my father-in-law is due to come to spend the day with them. An extremely doting granddad, the kids are excited to have their thatha at home.

“Yes, amma. Guess what? I made an omelette for thatha!” she announces excitedly.  Excited because she’s only seven years old and making an omelette is an achievement!

“Whaaa? An omelette? Let me speak to him”, I ask.

He comes on the line, hemming and hawing.

“How come you ate an omelette today, Appa? Amma said that I should make food without onions for you because it’s your dad’s thevasam?”

(Thevasam is the annual death ceremony that Hindus perform to both appease and honour their forebears. It is also a day when you have a sort of restricted fast-foods like onions and garlic are strictly prohibited. Eggs are definitely out of the question and he has been warned sternly by his wife that he cannot even eat onions today!)

“Urp… errr… noo… you see… duh… urrr… the omelette did not have any onions in it!” he finally blurts out sheepishly!

I get the whole story from my kids when I get back home. I know my father-in-law is inordinately fond of eggs and not at all fond of rituals (both of which I have in common with him!) and normally there are always eggs in the house. That morning, we’d run out of eggs and I hadn’t had time to order before leaving for work. So Appa (that’s what I call my pop-in-law) comes home, opens the fridge and sees… no eggs! Some @#$%#@%&^%* happens and then he sends the watchman out to buy… an egg! That’s right – just the one! (So that he can hide the traces in case mom-in-law drops in unexpectedly!)

Carefully, he’s asked Arch to make an omelette for him without onions! So that in case he’s asked later about what he ate for the day, he can say completely truthfully that he followed her instructions to the T and did not eat any onions! Dennis must have been modelled on Appa!

This story has passed into family folklore along with a million funny remembrances of a wonderful man who along with his Dennis-esque qualities also had a real talent for malapropisms and spoonerisms!!

And so… on to our recipe. Obviously such an egg-y story has to have an egg-y ending… so here is the most delicious…

EGG PASTE FOR SANDWICHES

  • Just boiled eggs – 4 (the yolks should be set and just not runny.

And did you think anyone could boil an egg? Think again! There is an art to this. Here’s a tutorial… Wash eggs well but don’t crack them in the process.

Check for freshness by placing in a bowl of water. Floaters – chuck them out – they’re not committed!! Sinkers – great – they’re our anchors!

Place a tsp of  salt in water in a bowl. Gently slip in eggs. The water should just cover the eggs. Cook the eggs initially on a low flame for 2 minutes. Stir a few times so the yolks stay centred. Otherwise they tend to slip to one side – a bit like our waistlines do when we don’t stirabout  in our youth! Increase the heat and bring to a boil. Boil for about 3-4 minutes. Remove and dunk in cold water. Let cool and peel carefully – this is the best part – I love peeling eggs!

  • Grated cheese – 1/4 cup – Cheddar is great
  • Ketchup – 3 tsp
  • Pepper and salt
  • Mayonnaise – 2 tbsp
  • Mustard paste – best to grind your own – 1 tsp (1 tsp mustard seeds in a few drops of water – grind away in a stone mortar)
  • Milk – 1 or 2 tbsp
  • Chopped herbs of your choice – I prefer fresh basil

Using a fork, press down the rest of the ingredients into the eggs.

Sandwich! White soft sandwich bread is best but use brown if you have to!

And please note – this recipe is to honour my dear father-in-law and therefore has NO onions!

Musings on fathers and fathers-in-law…

veggie wrap

veggie wrap veggie wrap


HELLO, uncle!” says a cheery voice.

“Grunt!”

“How are you, uncle?” (voice drops an octave)

“Humphh!”

“Is… (one of our daughters) at home?” (slightly less confident tone!)

“Grrr.”

Any of you who has daughters will recognise this conversation – the classic father-of-a-daughter vs any guy who seems to be getting too keen!

From being a dad who taught his daughters to sing Jim Reeves’ “But you love me Daddy” as soon as they started to lisp to learning to tolerate their various guy friends was a huge step for hubby! Tolerate is the word, anything beyond would be… impossible! I keep reminding him that he was in the same position once vis-a-vis my dad but his explanation for that is a breathtakingly cocky, “But I was a good guy… always!!”

And so say all the rest of the dads… of daughters!

My daughters were born into a family which hadn’t had a daughter in… sixty years! My father-in-law, quite sure that I’d give him a granddaughter, told me that I could have any gift I wanted from him provided I had a girl! “What if it’s a boy?” I asked – since I didn’t have any clue at all about what the baby was going to be – no, never had any instinctual thing about the gender of the baby that moms-to-be are supposed to feel!

“Then you get nothing!” was his unequivocal response!

I laughed and went off and had my baby – a daughter and sure enough, the minute I was back on my feet, he bought me my very first set of my own wheels – a 2-wheeler – wheels which gave me more pleasure than almost any other gift I received!

The minute I got the bike, I took off – sans licence, sans RC book, sans insurance papers and went round and round the block, which I did not realise had a police station on the way!

Some smart cop must have been watching – I got caught on my third chukker and since I wasn’t even carrying a purse, I couldn’t pay the fine! Promptly had the bike impounded and sheepishly went back home in an auto – ignominy compounded by having to borrow money to pay the auto! Pop-in-law was the truly the top of the pops – not a word of censure or blame, paid the auto and came with me to the police station to retrieve the bike and later told me that all he felt was relief at seeing me get out of the auto in one piece!

Dads or dads-in law – they’re the very best!

Like this happy fusion of East and West – Lebanese and Thai married by an Indian roti in the middle!

FOR WRAPS

Make large rotis – tawa-fried (pan fried) with a few drops of oil on each side. The oil ensures that the filling does not make the roti soggy.

FOR SALAD

  • Purple cabbage – 1 cup – shredded
  • White cabbage – 1 cup – shredded
  • Onions – sliced very fine – 1 medium
  • Apple – sliced into thin pieces – 1 – any crunchy apple will do – no woolly ones!
  • Capsicum – green or coloured – 1  – cut into thin strips

FOR SALAD DRESSING

  • Roasted peanuts – 1/2 cup
  • Green chilies – 1 or 2
  • Sugar – 1 generous tsp
  • Salt
  • Raw mango (if available) – shredded – 2-3 tbsp
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • Fresh mint leaves – 2-3 tbsp

Pulse everything together in the mixie – till the peanuts break up a bit. Do NOT grind fine.

FOR HUMMUS

  • Boiled chickpeas – 1 cup
  • Garlic flakes – 4-5 large ones
  • Thick yogurt – 1/2 cup or juice of 1 lemon if you don’t have this. But yogurt makes a creamier hummus.
  • Green chili – 1
  • Salt

Whip everything except yogurt up in the mixer to a smoothish, slightly grainy consistency. Add yogurt and pulse for a few seconds.

TO ASSEMBLE

Mix salad dressing with the vegetables.

Smear 1 tbsp of hummus all over one side of the roti. Place 3-4 tbsp of filling down the centre. Fold over. Keep doing till you can feed my army!

Of how children make you philosophers!

tomato dal

I’m at the Open Day at my children’s school. The kids have been at it since the morning – each of them manning their project and explaining to a steady stream of parents, grandparents and visitors the Pythagoras theorem or how to do something with potatoes and electricity or reading out a poem they’ve written. It is hot (when in Madras is it not??!) and the kids are sort of wilting in the heat. Also they want to go to other classrooms and see what their friends are doing!

Unfortunately having had a meeting I couldn’t skip in the morning, I’ve reached school only in the afternoon and end up feeling guilty at having to ask obviously tired children to explain their experiments to me! Scuttle through classrooms furtively, with a sheepish grin to compensate for stopping at various tables on the way!

So I stop at this one table which has an interesting set of tubes and pipes and wires rigged up to produce… something! It looks intriguing and I query, much to the despair of the ten year old manning the counter. So what does this do?

“It makes something, something… by doing something, something…” he rattles off at top speed. I look puzzled. He looks desperate… looks around… no teacher in sight… “pssst, auntie“, he whispers. “I know you want to know but I really want to go to see my friend in the other classroom… so could I pleeez go? I’ll tell you about this thing later if you want” he offers generously.

I scuttle quietly out of school!

On another occasion, I call up a friend at home. The call is picked up by her two-and-a-half year old grandson, who tells me his paati (grandmom) is not at home.

“So who is this?” I ask.

“This is me”, he says – wondering what kind of nutcase wouldn’t know the answer to such an obvious question!

“What’s your name?” I ask him.

“V…”, he says.

“And what are you doing, V…?” (snoopy adults – he must be thinking!)

“I’m working”!

“On what?”

“On repairing my cycle!!”

“Ah… and who else is at home with you?” I ask.

“S… akka”.(their cook).

And to forestall any further questions, this sub-three-year old tells me, very patiently, as he might explain to a rather dimwitted adult, “I know you want to chat, but I’m really rather busy right now. So could I please go?”!! Phew!

Further mental scuttling away happens on my side! Lesson is learnt!

Comfort is sought… in food, of course!

In this simple but delicious…

TOMATO DAL

  • 1 1/2 cups toor dal and a generous pinch of turmeric, pressure cooked till soft.
  • Peanuts – optional – 2 tbsp – cook along with the dal
  • 3 large tomatoes – chunked.
  • Garlic – 3-4 large flakes – about a tbsp of paste
  • Red chili powder – 1/2 to 1 tsp – depending on how hot you want it
  • Jaggery – 1 tbsp
  • Tamarind paste – 1/2 tsp
  • Salt
  • Garam masala powder – 1/4 tsp
  • Kasooti methi – 1 tbsp

TO TEMPER:

  • Ghee – (no oil!) – 1 tsp
  • Mustard seeds – 1/2 tsp
  • Jeera/cumin seeds – 1/2 tsp
  • Curry leaves – 2 sprigs

Grind the tomatoes and garlic together to a knobbly puree. Set aside.

Heat the ghee in a pan and add the tempering ingredients.

When they splutter, add the tomato puree, jaggery, red chili powder and cook till the raw smell is gone – about 7-8 minutes.

Add the dal and the rest of the ingredients along with 1.5 cups of water.

Bring to the boil and cook for a further 3-4 minutes.

All it needs is hot rice – or in this weather, cold rice is welcome!

And accept philosophically that kids will always get the better of you!

And the jugaad moves to… another part of India

chutneywale aaloo
Thank you, Bindu, for a lovely recipe and the reminiscence of home… (today’s post and yummy recipe are courtesy Bindu Borle who’s given us a yummy laddu earlier!)
Every Indian mother knows how to run her kitchen efficiently. Not only that there is one trick or another up their sleeves to have everything go smoothly. I won’t be wrong, if I use the word jugaad!  It is one thing every mother does, when running short of stuff when unannounced guests come.
According to Wikipedia,”Jugaad  is a colloquial Hindi-Urdu word that can mean an innovative fix or a simple work-around, used for solutions that bend rules, or a resource that can be used as such, or a person who can solve a complicated issue.”
I remember so vividly, we used to get a lot of guests at home – be it visiting distant cousins, a cousin who came for a job interview, an aunty on her way to pilgrimage but stopped by to see us or someone who just happened to be in town. The one thing common between all of them – coming unannounced! None would ever inform in advance of their arrival and we were always taken by surprise. Those days mobile phones were not even heard of and the mode of communication was the good old black rotary phone, the ’15 paisa’ yellow postcard or the ’35 paisa’ blue inland letter! It used to be a classic situation; we would have just finished our dinner/lunch and sitting together and relaxing. Suddenly, the bell would ring and everyone would be shaken off their stupor and run helter-skelter tidying up the room. Behold! On the main door stands a family of the distant aunt, whose husband is just paying the fare to the auto wallah. Every one at home, including the aunt and her family would give a cocktail reaction of shock, surprise and bewilderment.
Once their luggage occupied the maximum place in the room, they would start looking for a place to make themselves comfortable. We would be wandering around with our grumpy faces, as her children would start playing with our toys. Since they would have come past the dinner/lunch, my mother would exchange pleasantries with them and then slowly ask, “Aap chai lenge?” And they would say,”Nahin hum to khaana khayenge!
This unexpected answer would start the kitchen machinery in full swing – making the dough, putting the dal in the pressure cooker, preparing the rice and subzi.
Interestingly, my mother always used to insist that we should keep two-three boiled, unpeeled potatoes in the fridge. We never understood why she insisted. While all the other stuff would get prepared, she would ask us to peel the potatoes and chop them into neat pieces.
Another thing, which was an integral part of our food, was the coriander-mint chutney. It was never made in the electronic grinder. We would take turns to grind it on the sil-battaSil is a rectangular piece of granite. Batta is used as a handheld device to grind. Batta is also called Lorha, make Chutney, or make beverages such as Thandai.
It used to be difficult but we enjoyed doing it, as once the chutney was made and put into the bowl, we would wipe off the residual and taste it! So, this tangy-sour chutney was something we enjoyed the most, as we would get the chance to lick the bowl clean! Those were the days of small pleasures in life…
My mother would conjure up a quick subzi with boiled potatoes and chutney. This would hardly take any time and the unexpected guests would appreciate this tasty, exotic subzi!
My kids were quite surprised when I prepared this for them. As they couldn’t believe that chutney and potatoes together can turn into a wonderful subzi. My guests simply adore this different version of oil free, spicy-tangy-sour potatoes.
CHUTNEYWALE ALOO
Ingredients
Boiled potatoes- 4 large
Chaat masala – 1tsp
Green chilies -2(finely chopped)
Fresh coriander (finely chopped)
Salt to taste
For chutney
Coriander leaves – 1 cup
Mint leaves – 1/4 cup
Green chilies – 4-6 (as per the taste)
Raw mango – 1/2 cup
Salt to taste
Lemon juice- 1 tsp.
For the chutney, grind together coriander leaves, mint leaves, green chilies and raw mango to make a fine paste. Add lemon juice and salt. Mix well. Keep it aside.
Next, peel the boiled potatoes and cut them into neat, equal pieces.
Now, mix the chutney and boiled potatoes together. Add salt, chaat masala, chopped green chilies to it. Garnish it with finely chopped coriander. Serve it with poori, paratha or chapati.