Author: anuchenji

…she serves herself a mound of rice.

Then pours in a couple of teaspoons of ghee.

Sambar follows.

Rasam is next in the queue.

Then some vegetables on top.

Then a perugu pachadi (yogurt-based chutney/thayir pachadi).

Then another kind of chutney.

Then a cupful of yogurt on top of all this. I watch in fascinated horror as the yogurt trickles down what is fast beginning to resemble a landfill mountain!

But she’s not done yet – she plonks down a fiery red piece of avakai (mango pickle) where the crater of the volcano is beginning to form and balances an appadam (poppadum) delicately on top.

Then to add an almost impossible element, she puts a laddoo (a sweet, very sweet item) on top of the appadam.

She then plunges her fingers right down to the heart of the volcano and mixes up the whole thing and proceeds to eat every last bit – evidently with great enjoyment!

The creator of this rather innovative way of eating a full Indian thaali is a guest – a young Indian girl who’s grown up outside India and has no patience to sit through what a thaali meal really is all about – twelve or more courses! She’s found a solution – which would horrify all purists and small children (none more purist, I assure you!) but which seems to work for her!

This was way back in the seventies when young India was still being raised with a million strictures ranging from everything to everything else – what time you should get up (early, earlier and earliest being the formula!), what you should do immediately after that. DO NOT, under pain of things-worse-than-death open your mouth till you’ve brushed your teeth (I still can’t, btw – open my mouth to say hello to anyone without brushing!) How you should bathe, write, eat – thaali food being always served in a particular order in a particular direction and so on and so forth – you get it? Your life was regulated! And so, to see someone eating with such gay abandon and disregard of every rule in the gustatory book – was seriously liberating! I obviously tried it at the very next meal but being a purist even then – gagged on the mixture!

But that young girl, let’s call her G – taught me a thing or two about examining convention – I was never so willing to accept ‘things’ after that!

A couple of days ago, at a Mexican diner, I watched the buildup of a similar meal for our takeaway – a burrito bowl. Having lunched on a very forgettable bagel (see yesterday’s post on how to give it a makeover!) and blessed with genes which do not let me forget that they, along with the rest of the cells in my body, were formed by rice, I was pining for any rice based number! Arch suggests a Chipotle joint. Am quite fascinated by how things are piled one on top of the other and quite looking forward to eating it – hoping that it will not be a repeat of the disastrous Indian thaali scramble!

It is truly rather delicious. I can’t resist doing a bit of a makeover on it in my mind – add a bit of mint here, a wee teaspoon of minced green chili, half a teaspoon of jaggery to balance out the salt and so on – hey, I am a self-respecting cook and believe I can improve almost anything with maybe the exception of some of those Swiss chocolates! But will stick with the original here! I am leaving out the chapati wrap because I wanted only rice!

BURRITO BOWL

FOR THE RICE

• Cooked white rice (any short-grained non-sticky rice like samba or ponni or Warangal mussoorie is good for this) – 2 cups
• Chopped coriander – 2 tbsp
• Zest of lime – 1 tbsp

Toss all together with a tsp of olive oil and set aside.

FOR THE BEANS

• Black beans or pinto beans or rajma/red kidney beans -1 cup – cooked
• Garlic – chopped – 1/2 tsp
• Chili powder – 1/4 tsp
• Green chili – minced – 1
• Ground cumin/jeera – 1/2 tsp
• Salt
• Jaggery or sugar ( sorry, cannot resist!) – 1/2 tsp
• Any souring agent – tamarind paste – 1/4 tsp or dried mango powder – 1/2 tsp

Add everything and bring to a boil.

FOR THE TOMATO AND CORN SALSA

• Chopped tomato – 1/2 cup
• Boiled sweet corn – 1/2 cup
• Minced garlic – 1 flake
• Salt
• A generous pinch of sugar
• Juice of half a lime
• Chopped mint – 1 tbsp
• Minced green chili – 1/2

Mix it all up.

FOR THE FAJITA VEGETABLES

• Mixed coloured capsicum – 1  cup
• Chopped onion – 1/2 cup
• Eggplant – cubed – 1/4 cup
• Tomato – chopped – 1/2 cup
• Garlic – 1 flake – minced
• Chili pwd – 1/4 tsp
• Sugar – 1/4 tsp
• Oil – 1 tsp

Heat oil, fry the onions a bit, add the rest of the vegetables and seasonings and cook till tender.

FOR THE GUACAMOLE

• 1 cup avocado – chunked
• Garlic – 1 flake
• Juice of 1/2 a lime
• Salt and pepper

Mash it up!

EXTRAS

Shredded lettuce, sour cream and shredded cheese – any mild-ish cheese – Monterey Jack.

So take a long dish (looks better!), layer rice at bottom and add beans, fajita veggies, salsa and guacamole. Top off with lettuce, cream and or cheese – I would prefer to leave the out – in the interests of taste!

And so there we are – at a Greyhound bus station. Haven’t been to a bus station in India in decades, so look around with interest. It’s warm, it’s all metal, slightly grimy, a little fuggy, not terribly crowded and like every other place I’ve seen so far, so little noise! No hawkers, no families rushing around shouting instructions to children and spouses to put a handkerchief on that seat to reserve it, no bargaining with moongphalli (peanut) vendor, no arguing with the bus driver’s assistant (always referred to as the “cleaner” though I’ve seen them do a bunch of things but never seen them clean a bus) to hoist my bag right up there on top and tie it down carefully, mind you!

Helpful women employees though, assisting you with what you need to do and where to wait and all that. We are early (we are from Madras, remember? We are born early – so as not to miss the bus… that the dad has to take to his office after the mom has duly co-operated in a premature delivery… so that Thaatha-Paati (the grandparents!) can take their train for their theertha yatras (pilgrimage) without worrying about having to cancel their plans!

Arch tells me the bus doesn’t stop anywhere except one or two scheduled loo stops but not for lunch. It’s an eight-hour journey almost so we decide to pick up food to go. There’s a canteen thing at the bus station with packaged sandwiches – not a solitary vegetarian option! So we go out, walk several blocks in a circle (should that be a square?) – and I figure out what an American block is about… not a shop in sight.

We trail back to the bus station and examine the sandwich racks again… no one here seems to want anything that grew on a plant! We find packets of bagels – am excited – have heard so much about these. A few hours later, having finished packets of thattais (nippatlu – a kind of fried riceflour snack – totally delicious) and an apple each, we are STILL hungry.

Carefully cut open the bagel – it’s a blueberry bagel – hmmm… seems rather hard? – and smear the little packet of cream cheese that goes with it.  Bite into it – if I had to be polite to someone who had offered me one, I’d say “Interesting”. Since I don’t have to mind anyone’s feelings here, I just make a face! It’s cold, it feels clammy to my tongue and it tastes of almost nothing except dough and salt! This is a bagel?!

My daughter sees my face – “No, Amma, this is just a bad bus station bagel. Will get you a realy nice one in a proper bagel place!” I am relieved – surely America can’t be surviving on this stuff?!

My tummy is full even if my soul is not. I go to sleep as the bus drones through Indiana and Ohio… to dream of pulihora and appadams! The dream moves on and I’m setting up a bagel stall in Columbus. But inspired by Gujju ingenuity, it’s a chaatwaala bagel – in other words, a bilaayati bagel ka bharatiya baccha – a dabeli bagel, not to mention a far healthier version of the dough + cheese – any greens version! George Columbaris appears in my dreams and tells me it’s the best thing he’e ever eaten!

Here’s my…

BAGEL MAKEOVER – DABELI BAGEL

• Bagels – 3-4 – sliced, very lightly buttered and warmed up on a pan
• Patties – a mixtire of boiled and mashed sweet potatoes or potatoes, carrots and peas. Add chat masala, dried mango powder, cumin and coriander powders and red chili powders and salt. Shape into patties the size of the bagel and shallow fry till crisp
• Lettuce shredded – 1 cup
• Pomegranate seeds – 2 tbsp
• Chopped onions – 3 tbsp
• Chopped coriander – 2 tbsp
• Mint chutney – 1/2 cup (1 bunch mint, 1 green chili, 1 tsp lime juice, 1 tsp sugar, 1/8 tsp chaat masala, 1 flake garlic, salt – grind in the mixer)
• Date chutney or ketchup – 3 tbsp
• Hung curd whipped with grated cucumber, a little crushed garlic and green chili – 3 tbsp
• Sev – or any crunchy savoury crushed chips

Smear the mint chutney generously on one half of the bagel – inside side.

Smear the hung curd on the other half.

Add the lettuce.

Place the patty on top.

Drizzle tamarind chutney/ketchup. Top with pomegranate seeds and sev/chips and coriander.

Like the makeover?

Wanna open a stall at a bus station?

Okayy, folks, have been sending travel bulletins to some people and someone suggested that I blog these as well – so you don’t miss the American culinary adventures of yours truly!

My very first trip to Amreeka – only heard all the hoopla – never seen it so far.

We leave Madras (sorry but I cannot think of it as Chennai still – some fifteen years after its name was changed – “Chennai” still feels like some kind of imposter who snuck in in the middle of the night and took possession as the family snored and the cock didn’t crowed (aren’t you glad I’m not writing a poetry blog??!)

Had to leave that sentence halfway through ‘coz I didn’t know where it was going – took a bit of a wrong turn!

So our flight is at some 4 o’clock in the morning and we had to leave home at just past midnight. That was fine but in HOOOOOTTTT Madras, dressed in as little as you can get away with without the pakkath-aathu-maama (next door neighbour uncle-ji!) getting either an eyeful or a heart attack, we had to think about what the weather in Chicago would be like when we landed and then dress! I also thought that flying over the polar ice cap would shiver my timbers just by looking at it!

Husband being master organiser (it takes years of training, all ye spouses who hate organising, but you can do it!! :)), had managed to get hold of the emergency exit seats – with loads of room in front to stretch legs (don’t have much to stretch being of that generation which stopped growing soon after crossing the 150 cm mark! – but it felt luxurious to think I could if I needed to!). At some 4.30 in the morning, the stewardess serves us a meal – weird time but whatever, time adjustment blah, blah! – but Emirates serves us the most AWFUL meal ever – most of it is unidentifiable – brown and glutinous things which look like the swamp thing – urrr!

We land at Dubai and I’m hungry – my stomach along with my head have forgotten what the time is supposed to be – we have a croissant each at a coffee shop – I love the buttery things so am happy. Why the fatty stuff ? One needs to gird up for travel, you know!

We get bumped up to Biz class at boarding after some high-level manoeuvring by hubby – yippee – I sure could get used to this! (Noticing the transformation to Americanisms as we go west? That is also part of the girding up process – when in Amreeka etc. etc.)

Had a super flight made very super-er by some great champagne (never liked it earlier but now it shall be MY tipple!) while PS sat by my side sipping his… APPLE JUICE – like a good gouty boy!

Slept – very, very well – cocooned in our business class cubicles ;)!

Also watched three movies – one hoary old Cat on a Hot Tin Roof – Liz Taylor very very nice , Paul Newman poutingly hot – though I wanted to SMACK him at times! One Kevin Costner thingy called Black and White or maybe it was Black or White – whatever – it was entirely forgettable.

And a Telugu movie called Pandavulu, Pandavulu something – which was quite hilariously enjoyable.

Flew over the polar ice cap in bright afternoon sunshine – wanted my sunglasses on the flight! But I can’t tell you just how exciting it is – TOO MUCH! Took photos out of the window with the little camera.

Also ate many foods – some strange ones as well – and for the first time – kale in a salad – WHY would anyone want to eat something so bitter???!

Some brilliant chocolates, very polite stewardesses and a VERY good looking steward who took VERY good care of me!

We BREEZED through customs and Immigration – with hubby making small talk and chatting up EVERYONE – including one immigration chappie – with whom he chatted about food, told him about my blog, gave him the blog address and told him we’ll be waiting for him to comment! Enough, you think? No way, Senor Roddy now has a standing invitation to visit India where WE will be happy to take him around!

With some manoeuvring, we managed to get the 2 big plus 2 small suitcases to another terminal by an inner train and then by local train to somewhere in a suburb – where daughter met us. Much emotional stuff happened with three Indians, of whom one was a very shiver-y Indian – Chicago is cold… brrrr… !  Then we walked – some 15 minutes – to where we’re staying. Climbed two flights of stairs to this b&b – very nice couple – who were very welcoming. Already beginning to appreciate the luxury of India where there’s always someone to do stuff for one!

AND this whole affair – from Chennai airport to the b&b – we DIDN’T sweat! “Awesome” it was – to creatively coin a new word – what did you expect after an almost whole day’s journey?!

Had a cuppa and then went out to eat – to a vegan+ veggie place – nice dinner. I sat down and was congratulating myself on my ability to travel without jet lag 😉 – and then the next second, thought I was going to PASS OUT – biggo hitto of jet laggo!

All’s well that ended with a BIG sleep – NO ONE told me i snored!

 And here’s part of that first meal in a Chicago diner – feeling like I belong with Don Corleone as I say that! I didn’t make it – I just ate it!

CANNELINI AND KALE SOUP

INGREDIENTS

• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 onions, chopped
• Chopped carrots – 1 cup
• Salt and pepper
• 4 garlic cloves, minced, plus 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced – optional
• 1 tsp thyme
• 1/4 teaspoon red chilli powder
• Cannellini beans (2 cups) soaked overnight
• 6 cups water
• 1 dried bay leaf
• 1/4 kg kale stems and centre ribs removed, leaves sliced crosswise 1/2 inch thick

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in large pot over medium heat. Cook onions until just softened, about 5 minutes. Add salt and carrots. Stir in minced garlic, thyme, and red chili powder. Cook for 1 minute.
2. Drain and rinse cannellini beans. Add to pan with water and bay leaf. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat simmer, covered, until beans are tender, about 45 minutes. Let cool slightly. Discard bay leaf.
3. Working in batches, puree soup in a blender until smooth, transferring it to another pot.
4. Bring soup to a simmer. Stir in kale and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Simmer until kale is tender, about 15 minutes.
5. Meanwhile, heat remaining 2 tablespoons oil in a small skillet over medium-low heat. Cook sliced garlic, stirring often, until crisp and golden, 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer garlic to a plate using a slotted spoon. Reserve garlic oil.
6. Divide soup among 6 bowls. Garnish with garlic chips, and drizzle with garlic oil.

Changing my opinion about kale – it is rather nice! Also ate a quinoa chili – and liked it very much indeed except that they put too much tomato in everything! I think America grows so much-o tomato thay have to use it up somehow! And btw, just before I passed out  (almost) on the table, I saw a guy adding ketchup to his bowl of quinoa chili – maybe that had something to do with the passing out too!

It’s that time of the year again – exams and combined studies and sweating through power cuts and candlelit study sessions as young people in millions of households prepare for the dreaded public exams.

Reams are written every year about how stressful these are and solutions are proposed – only to be equally promptly disposed of by god… oops, sorry, I meant to say the various examination boards – the powers that be.

And the exams go on… midnight oil is burnt, stress takes its toll – both on students and teachers.

That’s right – teachers too are not just up to preparing kids for exams. The stress continues – with marking of answer sheets and deciding the fate of some poor hopeful soul sitting in Asansol or some other remote place…

It’s really a wonder that more teachers don’t take to drink – considering the kind of answer sheets they have to correct.

In every life, however, some rain must fall and in a teacher’s life, this comes, amongst other things, as hilarious answers to questions.

Let’s take a look at this year’s crop: (actual answers, btw!)

Q: Calculate something, something, something… in the Math paper

A: …and this is how you make the most awesome chicken sambar that I had last week

• chicken – x kgs
• onions – x cup etc. etc.

…psst… if I’d been the examiner and he’d got the proportions right, I’d have given him full marks – remember the chapter on “Ratios and Proportions” – Math, right?!!

And this heartfelt appeal from an honest Joe:

“I don’t understand Maths but still I made an effort to get up every morning at 5.30 to solve maths problems but to no use (i feel for him – truly!). I feel these problems are not at all relevant and useful.”

Yes, indeed, if they are about two trains traveling at different speeds and how much time they will take to pass each other or some idiot who is trying to fill water into a bucket at so many litres a second while a hole at the bottom empties it out almost (but never quite!) as fast as he can fill it – the wonder of this is that the guy knows there’s a hole and instead of trying to plug it or buy another bucket, he still insists on filling it! And then we try to teach them conservation in another paper called “Environmental Sciences”! Phew, there really is no end to the illogicality of education boards!

To hero No.2 too, full marks for logic!

And oh, he ends his fervent appeal to the examiner thus: “Please give me at least 60 marks. You will be blessed by god as I will pray for your well-being!” Spiritual kid too – what more can you ask for?

But the cream of the bunch is this answer from hero No.3 – again on a Maths paper – “Please pass me otherwise I will use black magic on you! Sorry for such strong language but I will commit suicide if I don’t pass! And it will be on your conscience!!”

Chanakya (Kautilya) who wrote the famous treatise on the art of war had nothing on this kid – who knows – instinctively – not just the four basic tactics of warfare – saama, daana, bheda, danda – conciliation, bribery, division and force but also the more advanced tools of Maya, Upeksha and Indrajala – deceit, ignoring and jugglery!

I’d pick this guy straightaway for a job in the War department – as a spy, maybe!

And after all that, the teacher’s head must be spinning so let’s make him some serious comfort food!

LOBIA  

• 1 cup lobia/black eyed beans, soaked overnight or for 6 hours. Drain and rinse
• Ginger – 1 ” piece – crushed
• Green chili – 1 – chopped
• Onions – 1 large – chopped
• Tomato – 3 – chopped
• Red chili powder – 1/2 tsp
• Turmeric – 1/4 tsp
• Jeera/cumin seeds – 1/2 tsp
• Dhaniya/coriander powder – 1 tsp
• Amchoor/raw mango powder (optional) – 1/2 tsp
• Salt
• Kasooti methi – 1 tsp
• Garam masala – 1/2 tsp
• Milk – 1/2 cup
• Oil – 1 tbsp

Pressure cook lobia in two cups water along with ginger and green chili  for 3 whistles.

In another pan, heat oil. Add the jeera and let it splutter.

Add the onions and saute till brown. Add tomatoes and all the powdered masalas. Cook till tomatoes are mushy.

Pour this cooked masala into the pressure cooker and add salt and kasooti methi and mix.

Pressure cook for one more whistle.

Switch off, let it cool and add the hot milk, mixing it in as you pour.

Garnish with fresh chopped coriander and mint.

Serve with rice and a salad.