Month: February 2015

For the past few years, I have been drawn irresistably to the Himalayas… grand, beautiful, splendid… many more eloquent voices  than mine have described this patch of divinity on earth – this punya kshetram – with far greater felicity than I possess… to me, it is the one place on earth where one glimpses, however faintly, the possibility that the veil of maya can actually be lifted… a place set on earth to remind us to look upwards where we can go rather than downwards… where our feet get stuck in the morass of the many pettinesses that we choose to live with…

Is it any wonder then that the hillspeople are amongst the gentlest on earth… when they live with this every single day?! Waking up to beauty, living, breathing it every minute, closing their eyes upon it every night… sigh… are you wondering whether you’ve stumbled on to the wrong blog? This is a food and funny story blog, right?

Thank you for having allowed me to wax lyrical over one of my favourite places on earth and now let’s move on the serious stuff… the funny stuff, I mean!

Today, we set out from Binsar (beauty!!) where we’re staying to visit the ancient temple of Jageshwar – a cluster of lovely cairn-like temples built some 1200 years ago… chiefly will be remembered today for having to hop around from one foot to the other as we walked around clad in socks – so cold that the ground was covered with ice in some parts – ice that’s been lying around for over two months now and is refusing to melt… brrrr…

On the way back, the driver – a helpful soul called Girish who promised to bring us some sarson ka saag from his home because restaurants here do not serve it 🙂 – suggested that we stop off at an another temple called Golu Devata ka mandir. Now this Golu Devata is a prehistoric hill god who has been worshipped here for millennia and is now identified as one of the forms of Shiva – in the form of the Dispenser of Justice. Because he is the dispenser etc., people come from all over the hills here to pray and ask for justice to be granted in court cases, land disputes and so on. The custom is you buy a bell from one of the many little shops outside, say your prayer to Golu Devata and then tie the bell to one of the many lines provided for it – there are millions of bells hanging here!

Noticing some stamp paper documents tied up here along with thousands of letters, I idly started reading some of the letters. One was from a young chap seeking the answer to the eternal riddle… it went like this: “Dear God, everything is great with me – thank you (good mannered lad evidently!). Only one request – please provide me with a problem-free girlfriend!!” So I closed my eyes and answered him thusly, “And when you do find one, please provide the answer to Socrates and Confucius too!”

 There was a letter from another young kid, again thanking god for many things (this is a well bred race!) and asking only to please, please, please be granted an iPhone!

Simple souls, simple prayers, simple, wholesome and absolutely delicious food! That’s what these foothills of the Himalayas are all about!

Here is a recipe for an awesome spinach dish made by the chef at the resort we’re staying in – Mahindra’s – a magician called Dharamvir Singh – the very Kumaoni…

PALAK KA KAPA

• Finely chopped spinach – 2 bundles
• Whole wheat flour / Atta – 1.5 tbsp
• Mustard oil  – 1 tbsp
• Whole coriander seeds/dhania – 1/2 tsp
• Cumin seeds/Jeera – 1/2 tsp
• Jeera powder – 1 pinch
• Red chilies – 1 or 2
• Green chili – minced – 1
• Asafoetida – 1 pinch
• Garlic – 1 flake – minced – optional
• Turmeric – 1 pinch
• Ghee or butter – 1 tsp

Heat the mustard oil in an iron pan, if you have oil. Add the dhania, red chili, garlic and palak/spinach. Toss and cook for about 3 minutes till palak wilts.

In another pan, heat the ghee or butter. Add the atta and let it froth up. Fry till golden yellow. Add the green chili, jeera powder, turmeric, asafoetida and salt. Add water and let it come to a boil. Add the palak and continue to cook till thick and done but palak is not overcooked.

The spices used in this dish are all very light and the palak kind of sings it’s own aria with very minor notes from the spice!

Serve with hot rice or tandoori roti and ghee. Go straight from the hills to heaven – you’re not too far off!

Some people are born squirrels and some are born chuckers-away – old jungle saying… haha, which jungle, you ask? Why, the one in which I was born, of course! 😉

Members of each will always end up marrying each other – another old jungle saying.

And then, for the rest of their natural lives, they will finish each other’s sentences… which go something like this: why didn’t clear up after lunch? You were the last to eat! The correct response this being : oh, was I? with an air of injured innocence as though to say if you had only told me that I was the last one to finish lunch, as though I wouldn’t have… he wouldn’t have!

And then : but where have you put all my shirts? I can’t find even one – while staring at a pile of ironed shirts right at eye level!

Other conversations will go like this: when you are clearing up cupboards together – a rookie mistake which occurs during the early years of marriage when you are yet to recognize the species – squirrel or chucker-away that each of you belongs to… once you learn, you learn never to clean up cupboards together. Till then, conversations go like this:

“You chucked away that banian (vest) of mine? That was my favourite banian and I wore it at our wedding reception!”  Said banian is fuller of holes than a Swiss cheese, btw, but the last bit drowns you in guilt… till you realize that the wedding reception line applies to every holy banian, every yellowed-with-age handkerchief, every suit that is five sizes too small! And suddenly you wonder, hey – isn’t that the fifth suit you claim to have worn at our wedding reception!

Retribution come sin the form of “how many crockery sets do you need? Yet another? Didn’t you just buy one last year?!!” Yes, I did, but that was last year and this is this year! And thank God you don’t know about the two spare Magic Bullets in the top left hand shelf that I bought at an exhibition! ”Hey, a girl can’t have too many Magic Bullets!” (They’re a brand of mixers with innumerably fascinating attachments!)

My husband often complains that if he were ever prescribed bed rest for any reason, he’d probably given away to the raddiwallah (the guy who buys old newspapers and stuff that you no longer need/want) while having a nap!

In the same fashion, I find it difficult not to share food with family/neighbours/friends every time I make it – particularly pickles and podis which are always made in LARGE quantities!

Like this cucumber pickle…

DOSAAVAKAI

• Round, yellow cucumber called ‘dosakai’ in Telugu (see pic)
• Mustard powder – 2 heaped tbsp.
• Red chili powder – 2 heaped tbsp.
• Salt – 2 tsp
• Turmeric – 1 tsp
• Methi seeds – ½ tsp
• Sesame oil – preferably organic – 1/2 cup 

Wash and dry the cucumber. Cut into half. If there are too many seeds, clean them out. If there are just a few, doesn’t matter – let ‘em be.

Cut into 1.5 cm cubes.

Mix all the dry ingredients together. Add to the cucumber pieces and mix well. Add half the oil and mix. Bottle into a sterile jar. Add more oil to coat all the pieces.

Set aside for two days. It’s ready to eat on the third day.

Traditionally, in Andhra weddings, if the wedding date is fixed suddenly, and there is not enough aavakai to serve for the many uests who are expected, this is the pickle that is made – a sort of dhideer (quick) pickle!

And you can fight over who cleans up after making the pickle!

“Can I have your pillow?” asks my father-in-law.

I look at him in horror – what, give up the pillow I’ve used since I was fourteen years old?! My pillow knows the contours of my head. It’s like asking Linus to give up his security blanket! I’d have withdrawal symptoms… probably go into a decline and fade away…

I’ve been married a few months and am learning to live with a new family. My father-in-law, more like a dad than a f-i-l to me, god bless him, is a compulsive worrier and insomniac. Me, I’m a Hyderabadi! Which means, among many other things, that worries weigh lightly upon our souls (till you become Madras-ised that is!!), that we can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, anyplace. Don’t believe me? Well, let me tell you what actually happened to me. 

Hubby had a Bullet those early days and as any Bullet owner knows, its got a large, comfortable seat at the back too – a true lorry of a bike. I was unused to long commutes in Hyderabad and as soon as I joined the slave brigade… oops, sorry, the work force… in Chennai, I had to commute some thirty kilometers to work each way – by bus and train! Net result:  I was so tired all the time, I could literally fall asleep anywhere! Back to the Bullet. Husband picks me up from the local station one evening and we make our way back home – some fifteen kilometers away. Am in a saree, so sit sidesaddle. Long before we reach the halfway mark, am fast asleep on the pillion… till… a rude lorry driver honks right in my ear and I jump out of my skin and literally –off the bike! Luckily, we were stopped at a red light so nothing further occurred. 

My father-in-law hears this story and cannot believe that anyone could fall asleep like I could and did – all the time – in theaters, on the way to theaters, on the way back, while reading the paper… and of course, the last exploit on the back of the Bullet! He’s seen me doing it, of course and figures out that maybe the answer lies in my pillow! Hence, trying to cure his insomnia, he tries to wangle my pillow off me! Like we say in Telugu, his “pappu won’t udukufy” here (literally his lentils won’t cook here!) – meaning it’s a lost cause before he even begins! I might have willed whatever I possessed to him before I gave away my pillow! 

P.S: I did, finally, give it – to my new born daughter!

A few weeks ago, my dear friend Dipika offered to make omelettes for all of us for breakfast and I happily laid out everything she wanted… expecting regular omelettes. But her omelettes were works of art – fluffy, fat, airy… and in case you’re wondering what this has to do with my pillows – they were softer than my pillows, even! And that is saying A LOT!

Presenting…

DIPIKA’S SOFTER-THAN-ANU’S-PILLOW OMELETTES

• Eggs – 2 per head
• Salt and pepper
• Butter – 1/2 tsp per omelette
• Oil 1 tsp
• Cake mixer with the whisk attachment – VERY IMPORTANT – otherwise you’ll have to kill yourself whipping the eggs into soft peaks with a fork!
• Very finely chopped tomatoes, onions, capsicums, green chilies, a tiny bit of ginger (optional), mint or coriander
• Cheese slices – 1 per omelette or grated cheddar – 1 tbsp per omelette

Whisk the living daylights out of the eggs adding salt. The eggs should stand up in soft peaks – takes 5-7 minutes per omelette so if you’ve got a lot of people to feed, use two pans and whip 4 eggs at a time.

Place the pan on the stove and pour in the oil and butter. Let it melt and spread out over the surface. Gently pour the whipped eggs into the pan. As they spread, sprinkle a little of all the toppings on top and cover. Tear each cheese slice into pieces and sprinkle over. 

Cook on a very gentle heat till the top begins to set and fold over in half – using two ladles if necessary.  

Cook for a further two minutes and slide on to the plate.

I guarantee you that you will NOT go to sleep while you eat this lighter-than-air concoction! I do not guarantee the same for ten minutes later though! This is very definitely a Sunday morning breakfast!

I come home from work one day and ring the doorbell – the children have holidays and are at home. To my puzzlement (I can hear lots of noise inside), no one answers. Dig around in my handbag and find the key to let myself in… and walk into a… snowstorm! In the thick of the Madras summer, with temperature soaring waa…y above forty, where sweating occurs more naturally than breathing, my genius kids have found a way to beat the heat! Or so I thought for an instant as visions of a Nobel prize awarded jointly to a seven-year old and her three-year old sister floated past my eyes! I really would have to do something about Kanchu’s fingers-in-the mouth habit before she went up on stage… ran my thoughts!

Then the snow cleared a bit and I saw through a haze of what looked like flakes but were actually tiny thermocol balls, several small faces… gloriously happy faces… my kids and a few others… the game was so exciting that no one noticed me come in. Then the story unfolds… they’re playing at Snow White, have built a ‘palanquin’ in which an Indianised Snow White can be carried. Kanch being the smallest, is obvious choice for being carried… also she doesn’t mind a couple of tumbles as her swains – Archana, Vinaya and Vasavi… try lifting a very unbalanced palanquin! K, as long as she continues to get attention, is quite happy to get tossed about a bit! 

The palanquin is made out of a cardboard carton with ‘windows’ cut out in the side and the snow… ah, the snow… has been painstakingly obtained from hours of slaving over breaking up thermocol packing sheets into little balls! In the process, my house, which has an open plan kitchen-dining-drawing room is… well, is in the thick of a snowstorm! For a second, I wondered whether I should do the mom act and yell at the kids for a mess etc. etc. but better sense prevails. 

Half an hour later, the aunt of one of the kids – an excellent housekeeper – comes to pick her up and walks into this… mess! In the middle of the snowstorm, nursing a cup of tea and lost in a novel, is the mom… me! Explanations and apologies from me are waved aside… it is so evident that happiness is the order of the day… having decided that I couldn’t do anything to make things better, meaning cleaner… I decided to do the next easiest thing – to let it be! 

And so to celebrate Snow White’s surviving several tumbles out of the palanquin, none the worse for the wear, we decided to make a day of it and make this easy chocolate, coffee and almond cake.

CHOCOLATE COFFEE ALMOND CAKE WITH GANACHE ICING

• Plain flour / maida – 140 gm sieved with 1.5 tsp baking powder
• Cocoa powder – 40 gm
• Sugar 180 fm – powdered
• Almond meal – 1/2 cup
• Vanilla essence – 1 tsp
• Coffee powder – instant – 2 tsp mixed with 1 tsp of water
• Table butter – 80 gm
• Sunflower oil – 60 gm
• Yogurt – 30 gm
• Eggs – 3

FOR GANACHE

• Dark cooking chocolate – 1 bar – about 100 gm
• Cream – 50 ml

Cream the butter, oil and sugar together for a few minutes. This cake does not involve any great amount of creaming etc – it’s basically and all-in-the-bowl cake. Break the eggs in and mix again. Add all the other ingredients and mix for 3-4 minutes till fluffy.  Pour into a greased baking pan and bake at 200 C for about 35 minutes till done.

Let cool. For the ganache, heat the chocolate and cream together in a double boiler and when it’s glossy and smooth, pour over the cake.

Don’t let the thermocol balls fall into it while you’re eating, though!

This morning, I was driving back home (strictly speaking, being driven back home by hubby!) from a lab after giving blood for tests etc.and feeling miserable because the girl who’d stuck the needle in my arm had – literally – hit a nerve and I was in some pain. We passed a car with a little boy – he couldn’t have been more than six or seven years old and was sprawled across the back seat, in school uniform, about as disconsolate a face as ever I have encountered! Little schoolgoing kids today are the most put upon members of our society, I swear! Schoolwork, homework, bulging bags, impossible-to-finish-without-parental-help assignments, no play time at home or school – no wonder kids look so sad!

We had visited many schools – some of which looked so much like jails that I did not even bother to stop my scooter in the park but turned right around and kept going – shuddering to think of my little girl in jail at the ripe old age of three!

After much deliberation, we had decided to put our child in a Montessori school and I devoutly thank whatever providence led us to making that decision – even today – they are grown-up young women making their own ways in the world!

I think what swung the balance in favour of the school was, as we entered, I hear first a peal of laughter and then see a bunch of little kids running past, pigtails flying and barefoot! Having lived through the tyranny of stiff black shoes through my school years, except for the PT days, when we could, thankfully slip into soft, white keds, that was the game changer! 

First one daughter, then another, many years of Montessori philosophy and I am a convert for life!

The school’s philosophy was to teach life skills along with academic skills and every other conceivable skill you needed – starting with buttoning yourself, putting on your shoes, cleaning up after yourself (though going by the state of Kanch’s room now, that lesson was a big failure!) and most important in the life of three and four year-olds – “cooking”!

Cooking lessons consisted of carrot cutting, pottukadalai pounding (pottukadalai is fried gram, putnaala pappu, phutani) and lime juice making. This cooking lesson was VERY important – aiming to improve motor skills, inculcate a sense of hygiene and most importantly – sharing. The carrot cutter or pottukadalai pounder had to finish the “work” and share the results with all her/his friends – a truly fine art of balancing! Obviously, the kids enjoyed the eating the most! The rest of the learning happened unconsciously…

Till today, when I hear my kids reminiscing about school, the starting point is always those much-loved cookery classes!

Let’s go back to school today and make something incredibly delicious and simple – the 

CORNER SHOP GRAPE JUICE

For 2 glasses

• Black grapes – 1 cup – washed well. To remove all traces of pesticides and whatnot, soak in a solution of 1 part vinegar to ten parts water for half and hour and rinse well. The seedless variety is preferable but we can work with both…
• Sugar – 3 tsp
• Water – 1.5 cups
• Salt – 1 pinch

Microwave the grapes in water for about 7 minutes on high. Else boil on the stovetop for 10 minutes till tender.

Cool and using using your fingers, squish out the pulp and discard the skins. The pulp slips out quite easily. If the grapes are seeded, you will need to take these out too. 

Blend the pulp but not completely – some of the little squishy lumps should be left so you get bursts of grape in your mouth! 

Add the sugar and boil again. Cool and serve with ice.

And if have been a good Montessori student, REMEMBER TO SHARE!